This is...

This is Sparta. This is fatherhood. This is pretentious laconism.

Welcome to my first post. I am Spartan Dad.

If you are stronger, I am faster.

If you are faster, I run longer.

If you run longer, I am wiser.

If you are wiser, I juggle kids better.

If you juggle kids better, then I give my neck to the superior Spartan Dad.

If.